I realized that somehow I did change… I was upset some days ago, when a dear friend told me I was changed, maybe because I’ve never loved changes, actually I was really scared and upset by that, I’ve always tried to avoid them, trying to keep everything as it was, the less changed the better, because I knew things as they were and a change would have bring something new, so potentially not as good as it was.. I know is tricky!
But I did change, truth be told, when you lose the one you think is the love of your life, you find yourself facing one of your most scary fear… so yes, I’ve been through hell, and when all this happened, I died, literally … physically and psychologically, but for some reason, after having lived in for full all this pain, I picked up the pieces and day by day I rediscovered myself again, rebuilding me on what I felt, what I liked, I picked what interested me and with the great help of friends and also with my commitment.. I was reborn! Then, somehow I’ve found out I was changed, being the same person essentially, but rather changed.. a new, grown up version of me!
When I realized that I had taken the first step on this path, my feelings were at first the realization that for a lot of the time I had just lost myself.. I had been away! And then I found out that I was missed me and I was surprised when I realized that I liked this missing person and mostly that I even love myself…
There are so many things that I realized in this period, and every day gives me a new teaching and this continuous discovery, challenge, generated in me an energy that I’ve never had, I don’t believe to be wrong in saying that both physically and psychologically I feel stronger than ever before and all this just because I realized that I have a great resource that will never leaves me: MYSELF!
I think there are things in life that makes you grow up and you are left scars to remind you just the way you pass it, which allows you to grown, as a mark of that commitment and suffering you have to experience in order to be the person who you are when you get up and stand with head held high!
Life is a constantly changing, only now I understand that change can be a great opportunity to improve, if you live it as an opportunity to become better and learn something more!