Daily Prompt today is about something I’m thinking about from a while… Sweet Sixteen
When you were 16, what did you think your life would look like? Does it look like that? Is that a good thing?
It really reminded me of my childhood and later my adolescence… At that time everything seemed to me so predictable and granted: parents, society, everyone was like in a loop where life was already written for us… Grown, possibly go to University, find a good, stable and possibly well paid job, find a decent man, get married, have babies and start all over again with them…
Everyone seemed to “want” the same thing, but more because it has been always this way instead that for real will…
Even if when I was younger this was my feeling about future, I was caught by this loop too, maybe not that deeply, because I believe that deep down I knew, but I was caught enough to believe it for a while, a long while, that this was my desire too… enough I believed in, that I wanted to bought a home with the one who supposed to be “the man of my life” (which I did), and I really wanted to start a life following this precast path… marriage, children and so on, all the package!
So my vision of the “grown” me was a woman with a husband, two or three children, a house, mortgage of course, a good job, maybe a dog and/or a cat… which is not how it looks like today! Which is good… let me explain why…
I’m not saying that what I mention before is something meaningless for me or something I don’t want, is just that looking back, now I know that even few years ago, society wasn’t that emancipated as we could think, because everything around you made you feel like “family” was higher goal a woman could aspire too, there was no room for “other”… and with “other” I’m saying everything, anything!
I feel like we couldn’t even allowed ourselves to try to understand tryly what we would like to do as grown person, because we had steps and a precise path to follow, there was no room for discussion, at least not for me and I hated that at the time, now as then!
I’ve always been a rebel from this point of view and I’m glad I was, because when I spent some years condescending living how I was supposed to live, I was really sad and I made other people around me sad too, now I’ve realized that!
You can’t behave as others want you to behave, you have to live your life as you think is right for you and differently from what we may think, this is not a selfish act, is a generous act because being someone you’re not you’re gonna sooner than later hurt someone by breaking their expectations….
Now I don’t have expectations or a vision of me in the future, my expectations of my life as a grown person are two things, which are the same I wished for me when I was little: to be happy and peaceful, which is something I’m working for everyday and I can say I’m more peaceful now than ever; and to be a person I like, a person that even with her defects, I would like to spend time with… this goal I could say I’ve almost reached it!
The difference between now and then, is that now I know these two things are the most important goals for me, more than what I can accomplish in life or what I can buy or which kind of “status” I can have… because living a life to be proud of, with no regrets, at peace and be a person who likes itself and try everyday to be a better human being is the most important purpose we can set in our daily routine life!