Heaven & hell

Love is war, and I need a soldier.
I need someone who will go to hell and back with me.
Someone who won’t fold under the pressure.
Someone who won’t quit when it gets a little tough.
That’s when I know I’ve found something special.
Something real.
Something worth keeping.
Anybody can love anybody when things are good.
REAL love stands the test of time, the test of faith, and the test of loyalty.
There are people who will take their last breath trying to stop two people from being in love.
I need someone who is ready to lace up their boots and fight for me.
Fight for this love.
Because anything worth having is worth fighting for.

 

 
Love can be heaven, but sometimes could be hell as well. Real love is committment. Not just to keep up to a promise, but because every bone, every inch of your skin, even when it’s tough, especially when it’s though, tell you it’s worth. And “it’s” is a very specific identification. It’s that, only “that”. There is no “something alike”.
Therefor is committment to yourself, therefor is so hard. To get what everyone dream, something that so few achieve, something so scary to live without, especially when you know exactly what it is all about.
It is so scary and hard that you might even begin to think to give up. But there it comes the fight! Because if something happens and heaven is at stake, you’ll gladly go to hell because you know that no matter what, you’ll came back the otherside, together. Period. That’s what matters. Scars can be healed. Burns can be eased. There are no excuses, no terms, no hesitation. Real love is also extreme. Those who have experienced it and choosed to keep it, know that they will gladly take extreme measures to not lose it. For those who chose fear, a comforting easy flat love is already waiting for them. For those who choose to fight, something worthy is awaiting, so they have no fear because there is no gain without committment. No pain, no gain.

 

Ray of sunshine and slice of moon

 

Just a brief moment they had, although they were glad
a glance in the twilight flare, melted souls in a light glare
suspended in a sigh, the measure of a die
a bow from the sun to the rise of his beloved one
his grave shapes her cradle, that infinite moment was fable.

 

IMG_5506

I died an year ago…

but I’ve come back more alive than ever!

Last year, today, one of my worst nightmare became true: losing my boyfriend’s love! I know… it sounds quite pathetic even to me now, but then… I was totally and desperately in “love” with him and my number one nightmare was to lose him… and precisely a year ago, my nightmare became true.

Back then, I didn’t have realized I was already in an even worst nightmare, I had already lost the person I shouldn’t have: me!

It’s quite difficult to summarize this year gone by, which has been the most important, the most difficult and not just for the broke up, let’s say that I had to face many of my worst fears, but some way I made it through… finding my self again, falling, standing up again, falling again and keep on raising… this was the more educational and happy year of my life, all included, even the pain!

I’d happily die again, to get where I am today!

I’m glad for every little deviation my path has taken, I’ve never felt more connected with me, with who I am, than now, here! Is not simple, this is not the easy way, but for sure, is the more honest one, honest with others and honest with myself!

So I’m glad I died last year and today I celebrate my funeral but mostly today I celebrate my second birthday!

Happy Birthday to me!

Make a wish…

foto 3_ok

Daily Prompt: Say Your Name

This daily prompt suits me indeed! Today’s Daily Prompt: Say Your Name:

Write about your first name: Are you named after someone or something? Are there any stories or associations attached to it? If you had the choice, would you rename yourself?

Photographers, show us  YOU. 

When I created this blog, last October, I did it staying anonymous on purpose, I was thinking that I would have felt more freely of writing, also on really personal topics, which I did, somewhere… along the way… but that wasn’t me, that was my need of that moment, a difficult moment, where I did felt exposed and weak and my need of protection was strong… so, that choice did seem the only one to me at that time, now something as changed, I feel stronger and most of all I feel more connected to myself and for sure hiding is not something which normally reside in my inner nature!

There is something about my name in the phrase of Talkerhuge’s blog: “Compendium of travel by a Rushprincess on one hundred and eight oceans aiming to reach Abhaland…” (I’ve explain the meaning of it in reply to a comment in the About page)

I’ve used “Rush-princess” not because I feel as a “princess”, quite another thing, just because my birth name is SARA and in arabic means “princess” and I’m often in rush… but I’m getting better!

So my first name is Sara, my parents had different names in mind, but my maternal grandmother suggests “Sara” because of a girl she knew back than, I’ve never knew anything about her, unless she seems to be sunny and nice girl…

I’ve spent all my childhood not liking my name, not for me at least, any particular reason I think, just I didn’t feel it suitable for me, but honestly I’ve to say I’ve never heard a name which I felt comfortable with… now I know it was a different problem, nothing related with a name, but now I can safely say I’ve nothing against my name, I still not a huge fan, but I don’t mind it, I’m just used to it maybe and honestly care not that much about which one is… a word others know me for won’t change who I am… after all is not my name the thing which defines me!

So I won’t need to rename myself… and, since I’m not a photographer, but I do like taking pictures, even if I’m not my favourite subject, but I’m quite used to selfshot, that’s me:

IMG_3770Nice to meet you all… my name is Sara!

aka Talkerhuge 🙂

Daily Prompt: Elevator

Can’t resist to reply to this daily prompt today, I’ve decided to test myself in writing, so this will be an appropriate “challenge”:

Fiction writers: You’re stuck in an elevator with an intriguing stranger. Write this scene.

I’m not a writer, at all, but I love to write, so I’ll challenge myself with this one!

 

Elevator scene

Modern elevator, as the rest of the building, steel, neon light, sterile space…

Lights go out, for a moment, seems a bit longer, but is just a moment…

Intermittence lightings, just for a while more, a bit…

Here has come back the neon light, aseptic, cold, impersonal…

I look better.. I focus… there’s someone… I was quite sure there was no one before, I think… “as always I’m too distracted to even notice people around me”… I disagree with myself for this, even for this!

She is leaning against the wall of the elevator, behind me, I looked at her in passing, but I immediately divert the gaze, there was something which embarrassed me when I briefly look at her, something that made ​​me feel uncomfortable… Her laconic smile, her magnetic gaze… I’m not sure, but there was something strange… in her face, I would like to look again, but I do not have the courage… something change, I can feel her eyes on my back, the tension suddenly grows, I feel electricity, I feel even more uncomfortable, I cannot stand still… I shift my weight from one leg to the other and… inexplicably, the elevator stops! It pull up… abruptly… I bounce!

Breathe gently.. if it stopped, it doesn’t mean it will stay still forever” a wry smile accompanies her words… there is something, even in his voice that intrigues me, it destabilizes me, even scares me a bit… now I can take a longer look… she is calm, relaxed, as nothing could possibly ever scares her, nothing… She has a beautiful face, oval, long, soft curly hair longer than the shoulders, but of an indeterminate color, browns, her face is not of an ordinary beauty, is even marked, but it is a fascinating one, the classic face of the person from whom you expect stories of an amazing life…

Ok, I’m starring, I need to say something… “How can you be so relaxed?” I ask her almost angry.
She smiles at me, like a mother with a baby… “Why do I have to panic, there is nothing I can do to change this situation, if we will panic, we only consume before the air.” Ok now I feel panic… “I suffer from claustrophobia” I feel obliged to let her know… “I know, that’s why I told you to breathe gently before!” and she smiles again with the typical expression of an adult replying something obvious to a child.

I know“… how could she possibly know something from me? This is the first time ever I see her, maybe she was in the elevator too someday I was talking about this with someone and I didn’t notice her… wait I’ve never talk about this with anyone in this building… ok, don’t try always to dig and understand everything, she must have heard it somewhere!

I’ve never, is just I know you” her voice now is different, more profound, but softer,  I’m trying to give a sense to these words, but mostly to the fact that she just has replied to one of my thoughts… “how” “why” “what” “it’s impossible!” my thoughts are spinning round, running into every direction, no roads are credible, but they just keep trying and spinning round… “there are things that happen, whether you believe it or not” her second reply…

Intermittence lightings, just for a while more, a bit…

Lights go out, for a moment, seems a bit longer, but is just a moment…

Here has come back the neon light, aseptic, cold, impersonal…

She’s gone…

I look better.. I focus… there’s no one…

I was quite sure there was someone before… a girl… she could read my thoughts… she told me she knew me… 

I think… “as always I’m so stressed out to even have hallucinations and make up weird stories”… I disagree with myself for this, even for this!

Modern elevator, as the rest of the building, steel, neon light, sterile space…

 

Daily Prompt: Competition

Today’s daily prompt is on a difficult topic for me…

What activity, task, or game most brings out your competitive streak?


I don’t have a competitive streak, not at all, when it comes I have to confront my skills with others and fight to be the best one, I don’t fight! I just don’t like to fight even if it is in a positive and stimulating way, I give up!

It is something that is in me from forever, maybe it is because I’m an insecure, maybe it is because I don’t feel so good in doing something, I feel I’m “quite ok” in doing some of the things I’ve learned “how to”, but there’s nothing I know how to do, which I feel safe to say “I’m good at” to pose myself in a challenge… Even the challenges on blogs, I’m happy to participate because they actually are no challenging at all…

But… there is a but.. one of the things I love most and I so often do is to be competitive and challenging with me! The most hard battles I’ve won and lost are the ones with myself!

I do love to push myself to the limit and test me out, I do that even unconsciously, but I do that every time and is something I like because I feel it makes me grow and become a better person every time and it gives me the idea to getting to know me to a deeper level…

Know yourself, as every experience in life is something you can live to several levels and it’s quite easy actually to know your soul just by defining yourself saying what you do and you don’t love… but “who you are” is something different, is something deeper and something you can barely see in challenging situations!

So… as along as the competition is with myself everything brings out my competitive streak in the hardest way!